The Seemingly Perfect Pitch . . . A Retainer Story Out of Left Field

Have you ever wondered where all those missing retainers go?

Well, our patients have some amazing stories to tell. Fact, fiction or just plain silly . . . only our patients know for sure. All we ask is that the stories entertain us, and many of our patients deliver just that. We thought we’d share a few of the stories we have received as a regular Blog feature. Here's this month's story . . .

A Seemingly Perfect Pitch

I was standing on the pitcher’s mound, ready to deliver the perfect pitch to my younger  cousin, David. He lifted his bat with confidence, and with my eyes glued to the catcher’s glove, I threw the first pitch. WHAM, the ball soared high, stretching across the clear blue sky. It looked so gracious gliding into the horizon until we realized that the ball was heading straight for our neighbor’s yard. David and I exchanged  worried looks. “This is bad,” I said. The expression on David’s face said it all.

“What are we going to do?” David said abruptly. I looked around for a second, before making a brave decision.

“I guess I’ll have to climb the fence,” I croaked. I started for the fence, trying to conceal the fear within my body. When I finally reached the fence and started climbing, I remembered that our neighbor had huge dogs that he kept outdoors. It’s not that I have anything against large dogs, but these dogs have had a long history of abuse from what I’ve heard. As soon as I got to the top of the fence, my jeans  got caught on a strip of metal. I fell to the opposite side putting a minor tear in the left leg of my jeans. To my surprise, the dogs were nowhere in sight. I got up slowly and started creeping up to the baseball, only to trip on an old galvanized bucket that was lying in the yard. I held my breath, but there was still no sign of the dogs. “I was one lucky duck” I thought.

I shot right back up, brushed the dirt off my jeans, and trudged toward the ball. I picked it up and took a deep breath. I found it hard to suppress a triumphant smile.  I decided that it was time to leave, but as I took my first step toward the fence, a rubber ducky toy was waiting beneath my foot. QUACK! “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumbled.

The jingle of dog tags filled the air, followed by agile footsteps. That’s when David yelled, “RUN!” I launched myself toward the fence as the dogs followed a little bit too closely for comfort. I was just about to throw myself onto the fence, when one of the dog’s teeth sank right into my behind. I yelped as a surge of pain swept through me. Not only did the dog bite my rump, but it tore the back of my jeans open causing my retainers to fall out of the pocket. The dogs were distracted by the strangle plastic objects so that was my cue to make an escape. I hopped over to the other side of the fence where David welcomed me with open arms and a worried look.

“C’mon David,” I said, “I’ll tell you all about it when we get inside. I think my retainers just saved my life!”