The Price of Stardom - Not Your Typical Retainer Story

Have you ever wondered where all those missing retainers go?

Well, our patients have some amazing stories to tell. Fact, fiction or just plain silly . . . only our patients know for sure. All we ask is that the stories entertain us, and many of our patients deliver just that. We thought we’d share a few of the stories we have received as a regular Blog feature. We hope you’ll enjoy them as much as we have!

The Price of Stardom

There I was, standing on a stage in front of thousands of screaming fans. I, Daniel Star, am the lead singer and guitarist of my angst-y-teenage boy band, I Hate My Dad.  I was about to start my first set with my number one smash hit, “Being A Freshman Sux”.   As I began to sing, I accidentally spat out my retainers into the massive crowd of adoring and hormonal fans. As soon as they realized that a piece of Daniel Star paraphernalia was up for grabs, a massive fight broke out.

So there I was, wading through the hordes of fan-girls in a petty attempt to recover my lost retainers. As I approached the center of the horde, I could see my precious retainers being grabbed and passed around. While the hair and punches flew and fights ensued over who was going to keep the retainers of the legendary lead singer of their favorite boy band, I tried in vain to catch the retainers as they bounced around the crowd. As soon as I got within arms reach of my teeth-saving retainers, I heard a shout off my left . . .  “OMG Guys, It’s Him!!!!” Crap! One of my fans noticed I had made my way off the stage and away from my security detail. At that moment, I was hit by a tidal wave of screaming female fans, all begging me for my autograph, a date, or a lock of hair. The last thing I remember was crowd surfing over the masses before I blacked out.

I awoke in my hotel room smelling like 20 different kinds of Hollister perfume. I was missing a shoe, my hair was messed up, and worst of all, my life-saving retainers were utterly gone! I used the sadness and soul-crushing depression I felt from the loss of my treasured retainers to write another number one chart-topping song. The song was a huge success, but it could never fill the void left in my heart that was created by the loss of my beloved retainers. Oh well, I guess that’s the price of stardom.